Why Play Matters for Adults: Reclaiming Fun, Balance, and Wellbeing

Life has a habit of getting busy, and it can be important to step back and assess whether what you are spending your time doing is giving you a sense of balance. While it can be important to focus on accomplishments, if everything we do is purposeful striving things can get monotonous and draining. To play — to have fun — can seem frivolous, and many people feel guilty for not doing something productive.

I have made it something of a personal and professional mission to help people prioritise play and enjoyment in their lives. This post aims to challenge the idea that play isn’t important, while offering starting points for experimenting with different activities and discovering what play might look like for you.

Prioritising Play 

We all know that play is important for children, as a way to develop and learn but as we age play seems to be something we don’t have time for. But play is vital throughout all our lives – it provides a source of good emotions, expands our mastery and helps us to relax.

Dr Brown has researched the topic of play extensively and states:

“The opposite of play isn’t work but depression”. 

What is play?

Play often looks purposeless and done for its own sake, the pleasure we get from play keeps us engaged and drives us to return to activities we enjoy. 

Research suggests that play is an inherent human need. Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp identified play as emerging from the same deep brain systems that regulate survival and emotional wellbeing. While play is essential for infant development, humans are unusual in that we can continue playful behaviours into adulthood. This ongoing capacity supports learning, adaptability, and our ability to find pleasure and meaning in the world.

As well as the protective factors against depression, through creative arts and celebrations play contributes to the formation of our shared culture and common humanity. Common humanity, to see ourselves as part of a bigger picture, is an important aspect of self-compassion which along with continual growth also impacts our self-esteem levels. 

What are the barriers to play?

In popular culture there is a sense that we need to increase productivity to gain social status and symbols of success. Along with this comes huge responsibility and a never ending to do list. Without the intention of prioritising play it is likely that day to day living will leave us with insufficient time or energy to play.   

A further barrier to play, that self-compassion might help to guard against is a fear of judgement. In Developing a prototype for a playfulness tool kit Hövels identifies that adults lose their playfulness because with growing responsibilities our seriousness also increases. Being seen as a serious person is typically associated with expert-status and professionalism and could be argued to portray a more developed adult persona. You could alter this idea of play being childish and serious being adult by acknowledging how important our ability to think creatively and flexibly is, we can develop these skills through play.

Benefits of play?

The benefits of play relate to increased autonomy, experimentation and growth. Although play can initially feel like another thing to do, it ultimately replenishes energy and offers a different way to rest and recharge. Once you start to make space in your diary for play it will become an important part of your diary.

1.     It is fun and is self-motivated, we are drawn to do it because it feels good.

2.     Authentic self - play provides a space to develop who we really are because it is something we chose to do, that you enjoy it allows your whole self to emerge.

3.     A growth state - play allows us to explore our capabilities of what we can and cannot yet do and extend your competencies which in turn can improve self-confidence.

4.     Flow state – when playing we get lost in the activity and are unaware of the passage of time.

5.     Less self-aware – during play we are less likely to worry about how good we look or how clever we seem because we are fully in the moment. This is especially beneficial if you spend a lot of time wrapped up in thoughts about yourself. 

6.     More creative – play immerses us in an enjoyable activity where we experiment with new things that might not go as planned, so it gives us a chance to practice responding to unexpected events rather than continuing to live on autopilot. This can increase flexibility and self-trust.

How to figure out what you enjoy?

I hear a lot of people feel so disconnected with play that they don’t really remember what they would like to do, or where to start.

What did you enjoy doing as a child or teen?

Joining groups that facilitate activities you are curious about is a great way to schedule play as well as getting all the benefits listed above from playing it is also a chance to socialise and meet new people.

The National Institute for Play (NIFP) identifies several play personality types. Many people are a blend of more than one, and noticing which resonate can offer clues about what play might look like for you.

The Joker

The joker embodies a classic playful personality and for the joker, play revolves around some kind of nonsense fun, fun for funs sake, maybe you were the class clowns and continue into adulthood enjoying practical jokes and making other people laugh.

The Mover/Kinesthete

The mover is happiest when they are in motion for example, dancing, walking, swimming, football yoga or playground games. Although they might play games, competition and winning isn’t the main focus. People with this play type might even find moving helps them to process information.

The Explorer

When we were children, we were all explorers learning to understand the world around us. As we grow people that enjoy explorer play type seek new experiences for example, visiting new places, having new feelings or discovering new information about the world we live in.

The Competitor

The competitor plays to win they love to be number 1. They might be the competitor or they might support team.

The Director

Directors enjoy planning and putting on events, their style of play makes them natural organisers.

The Collector

The collector plays by curating a collection of objects or experiences, either solo or with a group of like mined enthusiasts.

The Artist/Creator

They play by making things, which could be functional, creative, or just for fun. Obvious examples include painting, woodwork, pottery, knitting and gardening, but practical tasks like taking apart a mechanical item, repairing it and putting it back together would also be an example of a creator.

The Storyteller

Storytellers play through their imagination, creating new worlds to read or perform. They also enjoy reading, watching films, dramas and theatre productions.

Learning about play types as a game changer for me because it helped me to look for opportunities to incorporate play within my life. It also helped me identify things that I didn’t find fun and to step back from them, for example the PTA at my child’s school, I was there because I “should” be, recognising other people actually found it fun freed me from my sense of obligation.

Considering the importance of play, it is far from childish. It has so many benefits and fulfils the core foundation of self-esteem which is made up of self-compassion, self-worth and continual growth and mastery. Play may also expand our social network, increase our confidence levels and replenish our energy. Far from being childish it is a useful, fun aspect of self-care.